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	3/12/10: 9 Days in Paradise Entry #7 - Haleakala, Hana, Hale Kai I woke at 4 a.m., not setting an alarm and I just knew: it was a clear, gorgeous day, perfect for seeing the sunrise at Haleakala. So I grabbed my camera and parka (it's cold up there!) and headed out. Just in time, too. After the 36 miles to Haleakala (the last 22 on twisty but well-maintained roads) I got to the summit at 5:20; sunrise would be at 6:30. I was able to find a parking spot (one of two left at the summit), make my way up the stairs to the observatory in pitch dark (no flashlight!) and take my place at the crater's rim. Then we waited. In the cold, winds sometimes gusting up to 40 mph, but usually 5-10, much milder than the previous few days. The summit was dark and crowded, but hushed. Some people huddled inside the observatory, which had shelter from the winds, but I didn't want a piece of glass between me and the sunrise when it finally came. Nothing I can write here can express the beauty of these moments. I'll let the photos speak for themselves (larger versions are just a click away). More later about Hana and Hale Kai.
	3/11/10: 9 Days in Paradise Entry #6 - Yoga, The Search for Sun I spent today (Day 5, 3/11/10) looking for sun. After another hot yoga session (this one not as much fun -- new instructor) I showered and looked for sunshine. I started in Wailuku, drove to Lahaina and passed beautiful sunny beaches on the way. Assuming my usual beach in Honokawai (which is always sunny, it seems) would be there for me, I drove on to that old hang out only to find it raining hard. I actually bought a sweatshirt! So I bought mai tai fixings (I'm going to a pupu party tomorrow night) and unloaded at the hostel, then drove to Kihei where I was able to catch a beautiful 2 hours in the sun at Kamaole Beach, one of three with that name. I listened to my mediatation CD while sitting in the sunshine and taking in the great Maui breezes. When I returned to the hostel, I made a practice round of Mai tais and shared them with several of the hostel members. I found that I can Skype and stay in touch with home that way. The wonders of technology!
	3/10/10: 9 Days in Paradise Entry #5 - Cameras and Cars I spent yesterday (Day 3, 3/9/10) looking for a rental car, a camera and a cell phone. I started with the car. The hostel provides a list of car rental companies, so I started with one within walking distance,"Universal Motors." They didn't answer their phone, so I walked over there. They didn't answer their door, and a sign on the door said, "If this door is locked, check for us out back, or phone us." I checked out back. No one was there. Where in the universe was Universal Motors, anyway? So I hoofed it back to the hostel, and placed a call to another local company, who will provide a shuttle. I'd checked online, and had found pricing for a week at around $140 plus tax and service fees for a week. This place quoted me $190. I said I'd found better pricing online, and they offered to drop it to $180. I said I would get back to them if I couldn't find a better deal. Eventually I went through Priceline, named my own price and got a car for $137 including taxes and service fees. But I had to pick it up at the airport. Maui public transport leaves a lot to be desired. Kahalui is only 2 miles away, but the airport is another 2 1/2, and I was still pretty stiff and sore from the hike. As I was walking to breakfast (or an early lunch: by now it was 11:30), I ran into my friends from England, Helen & Rachel. They'd already checked out of the hostel on their way to Kihei, but had stopped to get a bite before leaving, and offered to give me a ride to the airport. Perfect! I got my car, and went into Lahaina in search of a camera. My digital camera, which had been hobbling along for a couple of months, finally gave up the ghost. I brought it to a camera shop in Lahaina and was told it was an electrical problem and I'd have to return it to the manufacturer (Nikon). They offered to sell me another for $179. I got one at Walgreens for $99. Today (Day 4, 3/10/10) I decided to try Bikram yoga, aka "hot yoga" to see if I could loosen up my tight muscles from my hike. I drove in to Kahalui for the class, taught at an Indian School of Yoga. My instructor, Lucia, checked me in and I joined 20 other hardy souls in a room that smelled a lot like sweaty dogs. The guy in front of me was wearing a Speedo. He was in good shape, but no one looks good in a Speedo, especially doing yoga poses. The floor was covered with a straw mat, and we each had towels over our yoga mats to catch the dripping sweat from the 26 poses we would each do twice. At 105 degrees, there was plenty of sweat. The class was 90 minutes long, and somehow I managed to keep up and only felt like I was going to pass out a couple of times. I did feel better afterwards, looser. Then it was a quick shower, change of clothes, and back in the car. My next drive was to Haleakala. I planned to do the sunrise tomorrrow, which involves leaving the hostel by 4 a.m. and driving 36 miles, the last 22 of which are twisty, windy (both types of windy if you get my drift) and steep. I was driving through clouds at 6,000 feet elevation, and the climb to the top would be another 4,000. I wanted to do a dry run, so I'd have a better feel for where I was going in the dark. But there was no "dry" run. The wipers were on most of the way. When I got there, visibility was poor. It was still raining, not hard, but there were winds gusting up to 60 mph. The park ranger who'd let me in said that yesterday's winds were up to 90 mph. I am questioning the sanity of driving that road in the dark (I don't see well at night, even with my glasses) for the slim chance I will see ANYTHING when I get there. I'm pretty sure my children would rather I came home alive.
	3/8/10: 9 Days in Paradise Entry #4 - New Friends; The Game's Afoot When I first checked in to the hostel, Scott, the manager, recommended Monday night at the Marc Aurel Cafe for "Open Mike Night." I intended to go, and did. I decided to be brave and read one of my short stories. But what I found when I arrived was that it was really a musician's night. There was a local band playing, and new musicians arrived and played in 15-minute increments. So I stayed and watched the music, leaving my essay in my backpack. I was hit upon by one of the musicans, so I was grateful when two ladies called me to their table on the patio. They introduced themselves as Helen and Rachel, mother and daughter from the northeast of England. They are on a 6 1/2 month holiday, and have rented out their house to finance a large portion of the trip. We had great conversation, shared lots of laughs, and they were kind enough to listen to my essay (I read for them in private) and they laughed in all the right places. But something disturbing happened before I left for dinner. Just before 8 p.m., I was grabbing items off the twin bed in my room when I noticed a lighter. I don't smoke, and the lighter was definitely not there when I checked in. So that meant someone had been in my room. I checked my valuables: laptop, two cameras, wallet. Nothing missing. After getting back from open mike, I approached Garrett, at the hostel, who went to Scott's room and interrupted him from his evening off. Scott, being the manager, took the matter very seriously. On his watch there has never been a theft at the hostel. He and Garrett came to my room, interviewed me, and Scott began piecing together a timetable of opportunity. None of the staff smoked, so that narrowed it down to guests. He's on the case, and I'm alerted, so I don't expect any more oddities. However, when I was at dinner at the cafe, the young Irishman I met who'd been Internet surfing, came in looking for his wallet. He'd lost it somewhere and was retracing his steps. I told him about the lighter. He didn't connect the dots, so maybe it's nothing. It's probably nothing. But still. A bit of intrigue on the island.
	3/8/10: 9 Days in Paradise Entry #3 - When Things Go Wrong, they Go Right At the Marc Aurel cafe I had the most delicious yogurt with blueberries, strawberries and granola I've ever had, and met a lovely man named Warren, 73 years young, who has lived on Maui all his life. He's never actually stepped foot off it! He told me about seeing a tsunami in 1946 when he was in grade school. Warren introduced me to Doug, a writer, who was busy plunking away on his laptop on the patio of the cafe. I glanced down at what Doug was writing and a word caught my eye: sartori, which means "enlightenment" and "a glimpse of the Divine." It's the second time I've seen that word in two days: the first was yesterday in a book I was reading on the plane called Zero Limits, by Joe Vitale. Doug is a chiropractor slash writer slash life coach and will be certified soon as a Radical Forgiveness coach and therapist. I asked him if he knew about Ho'oponopono, the Hawaiian practice of forgiveness and transmutation, and while he'd heard of it, it is different from what he is working on. I then hiked up to the Iao Valley Highway, which leads to the Iao (pronounced ee-AH-oh) Valley State Park. Warren warned me, "don't get wet" and while it sprinkled, it wasn't cold or bothersome until about a mile or so into the walk. Then it started pouring. I ducked into the shelter of a public building along the side of the road. When the rain let up, I learned that I was in the most beautiful park. The first thing I saw was a building with beautiful tile work around one window. That led to a courtyard with the Virgin Mary, then a bridge and concrete pagoda. Yes, boys, I walked over the bridge. Here's proof. And here are some koi I saw there. Here's a photo of me at a wood pagoda. The thing is, if it were not for the rain, I could easily have walked right past this park. It's not visible from the street, at least not the ornate buildings and courtyard. One thing I've learned lately is to look at problems as opportunities. Thank you, Maui, for the rain. Later I made it to the Iao Valley State Park, after being hit with another rainshower. I learned quickly that trees make better shelter than shrubs. By the time I got to the park I was pretty wet, and the wind had picked up considerably. I wasn't cold though; this is Maui. Luckily I'd brought a towel to dry off with, an extra pair of shoes and socks (I didn't need them, and my hiking boots worked out great: no blisters). Here is the Needle, a rock formation. And here I am, drowned rat: even in the shelter it was wet. The Iao Valley is beautiful: waterfalls, gorgeous vegetation and of course the rock formations. The hike back was mostly dry with just enough wind to blow dry my clothes. I was pretty muscle-sore so after a quick shower, quick lunch at the cleverly named "Cafe O'Lei" (kalua pork quesadilla and a glass of white wine for medicinal purposes only) I had the best massage of my life at the Green Ti Boutique and Massage. Then I finally mailed my bills. It's been a magical day and it's not over yet. Stay tuned for further developments!
	3/8/10: 9 Days in Paradise Entry #2 - Insomnia in Paradise I was still on Portland time last night, so the two-hour difference and travel and getting little sleep the night before combined to make for an early-to-bed-philosophy. But the Oscars were on last night and the TV in the community room of the hostel was loud and blaring. Quiet time is 10 p.m. around here but it is loosely enforced. At some point the TV just went off, with no warning to the viewers, but I think the show was over by then. Then there was boisterous talking, and I imagine I drifted off around midnight, only to wake again at 4 a.m. It was raining, and the metal roof and open louvers make a cacophony of sounds, some soothing, some jarring. I could hear other residents stirring so I got up and met a young man from Ireland surfing the Net and a retired woman who will be here for another month and who pointed me to coffee, which is available around the clock here. I've noticed that in Maui, the rain usually comes at night, and leaves in the morning, almost like the island wants people to enjoy their day, so it quenches its thirst when everyone's asleep. Now at 6:30 a.m. it's clearing and I only hear birdsong and the sounds of traffic from nearby Market Street. I plan to try a local cafe for breakfast, then hike to the I'ao Valley State Park, a 3-mile jaunt each way, so sleeping should pose little problem tonight.
	3/7/10: 9 Days in Paradise Entry #1 - To Kill a Nene? (Aloha from Hawaii) The tsunami was a no-show in Maui, which is just as well. I'm here and it's beautiful: breezy, low hanging clouds but otherwise sunny and warm. Other than a few definite plans for these 9 days (a bit of work, sunrise at Haleakala, hiking), I'm trying to go with the flow (hey, if I can't do that in Maui, where can I?) I left without my cell phone, which was a complete accident, but which my sister says was my subconscious mind's way of giving myself some chill. I arrived at 1 p.m. and was picked up at the airport by Kevin, a driver for the shuttle van driven on an infrequent, unpredictable schedule by staffers at the Wailuku hostel where I'm staying. It was actually Kevin's day off but he was nice enough to pinch hit for Scott, who was staffing the front desk unaided, it being housekeeping's day off. It was a 10-minute drive to Wailuku from Kahalui. The hostel has a private entrance down a narrow alley buffered by tall buildings and a huge banyan tree. Kevin punched in a code that's probably not been changed in 20 years to get us into the building, then I schlepped my bags up one flight of stairs where I met Scott, the manager, who looks like a younger version a of ZZ Top band member. After a cursory and somewhat abrupt tour during which Scott told me everything I needed to know about the hostel, Wailuku, bus schedules and laundry instructions without stopping once for a breath, Scott handed me the key to A15, my private "suite." I have a double bed, a single bed, a closet and a nightstand. But it's clean and just two doors down from the best of one of the hostel's four bathrooms. The front desk closes from 2-5 for "siesta" which I assume is surfing time for the staffers. I walked around Wailuku for a bit, but most of the shops were closed, this being Sunday. I was looking for a drop box for my bills, which I had sorted and paid while waiting for the plane from Portland, but no luck. I ended up catching a local theater production of To Kill a Mockingbird. It was well acted, but hearing those deep southern accents in the Iao Theater seemed a little incongruous. Aloha! More tomorrow.
	2/27/10: Tsunami Me I'm scheduled to head to Maui next week, and today they're expecting the biggest tsunami since 1964. I tried to contact the residents of the condo I usually stay at, but I'm assuming they are well on their way to high, dry land. At least I hope so. The complex is right on the beach. The earthquake causing the tsunami has been measured out in the Pacific at 800-900 times more powerful than the Haitian earthquake. I planned on staying a bit inland this time, and those plans have not changed.

	2/9/10: A Blogger Off the Old Block My son Sam now has his own art blog, appropriately titled, "Sam's art blog." He's a prolific and talented artist, and produces between 5 and 10 new post-worthy illustrations per day. This is destined to be the most frequently updated blog in history. Now if I can just teach him how to ftp, we'll be in business. Sam takes his art, and his blogging in stride. When I told him he had 29 subscribers to his other Web site, KidsDigDinos.com, where his dinosaur drawings are posted, he said, "That's great! What are we having for dinner?" From the dinosaur site, Sam has two pen pals, Laura and Whitney, both from Canada. Like mother, like son.
	2/8/10: Laughing Across the Border I have a new friend. His name is Doug and he's the funniest man I've never met. He lives in Calgary and we're pen pals. We would never have known about each other had it not been for the Internet. We exchange war stories, movie reviews, and share our love of Hawaii, our hatred of the cold, and our inability to figure out members of the opposite sex. He'd been chastising me for not knowing that PEI stood for Prince Edward Island. I then told him I assumed Canada was just another American colony, and besides that, we have Hawaii going for us. Here's his reply (Doug has a bias against apostrophes, so you won't see many of them. I mean "you wont see many of them." Yes we are a colony of the good ol' United States of Merica. But we're not the same... Your economy hits the skids, our takes a major dip but we somehow think loading every man, woman and child with 1.6 TRILLION dollars in national debt is, well... absolutely freaking insanity! $1,600,000,000.00 Thats a lotta zeros. You produce three million crappy movies in Hollywood every year. We watch them all. We make 9 movies a year. Eight of them are funded by the government and they're about buffalo. You dont see any of them. Neither does anyone here. You have celebrities. We have celebrities. But you think our celebrities are your celebrities and when they get really famous they move to the US anyway even though they maintain they "will always be a Canadian at heart" (eg. Michael J Fox, Celine Dion, William Shatner, Jim Carrey, Keanu Reeves, Dan Akroyd, Mike Myers, Kiefer Sutherland... blah, blah, blah) We're still pissy about that. You have an election and its on our frickin' TV sets 24/7 for an entire "please just shoot me now if I have to watch another minute of this" year leading up to election day. We have an election, you dont even know. Its not even on page 6 of the newspapers. We could elect a baboon and it MIGHT be on the Daily Show as long as Lady Gaga isnt wearing a new dress that day. We all know who are your freakin' President is. Every single person in Canada knows. You dont even know that we dont have a president. We have a Prime Minister. And you definitely dont know his name, nor could you name one past Prime Minister. You elect movie stars and even wrestlers to be governors. We just think thats hilarious. And we dont wonder why California is bankrupt. What, a muscular Austrian actor who specializes in being 'robot man' up isnt a great fiscal manager? WHO would have guessed that? After 9/11 you think everyone hates you so some doofus tries to light his underwear and WE have to tighten our security to the point of lunacy. Your banks fail and your government says, well, we cant have that, and gives them BILLIONS of dollars of YOUR money. Our banks have rules that dont allow them to give money out to people who cant pay it back. We thought that up all by ourselves. Yes, you DO have Hawaii. But only because you needed a military base in the mid Pacific after WWII. We only have two naval vessels and one of them gives harbor tours to senior citizens in Victoria. We dont need an island. I dont think our other boat is big enough to get there anyway. Not without three more guys rowing.
	1/28/10: A Word Ahead of Its Time A word came across my path recently: illuminous. The editor in me said, "That's not a word." I typed it in my word processing program and saw the telltale red zigzag line beneath it, getting my confirmation. Then I looked at several online dictionaries. I found it in one with the definition, "clear and bright." So it's not a word, but it's becoming a word. Sometimes words like illuminous, which sound like the words illuminate and luminous, start out as errors and end up in the dictionary. The early days of word usage might be a good time to purchase its URL. I recently sold a URL for $1300. Not bad for a $10 investment. I looked up "illuminous.com" and it was already taken. Clearly, someone was brighter than I.
	1/22/10: Too Young for Class? I heard DJs talking yesterday about Conan O'Brien. They complained that they'd heard from the Y generation that anyone who "didn't get" Conan was probably too old. Hogwash. Taste and decency shouldn't have an age limit. Conan O'Brien was foul, low-brow and, at times, disgusting. His brand of humor never rose to the class of Jay Leno, and certainly not Johnny Carson. What NBC was thinking when they replaced Leno for him is still a mystery. And now that he's off the show (with a $45 million severance), Jay will be back, and Conan's reign will be remembered like something that rises up from your stomach after too much Mexican food: unexpected, distasteful, and then gone. Recently I mentioned in front of three twenty-somethings that I wanted to see the movie, It's Complicated, starring Meryl Streep and Steve Martin. They groaned. "That's like a chick flick for older women," one of them said, managing to look arrogant even while wearing Lycra. I saw the movie with a friend. It was hysterically funny. As we exited the theater at 10:30 p.m. a long line of Y-genners sat waiting on the January-cold cement hoping to buy tickets to Avatar. I wanted to say to them as we passed by, "Cartoon flick for 20-somethings," but I held my tongue. We older people have more class. I can't explain why. It's complicated.
	1/21/10: Birthing a Book Many a writer has said that publishing a book is a like having a baby. You spend nine months or more "cooking" it, loving it, totally absorbed by it, and then you let it out into the world. Today I gave the fourth (and nearly final) draft of the manuscript for my nonfiction book, Mom and Dad, Can I Have the Keys to the Universe? to a member of my mastermind group. Next week I will also share it with three other members of my review team. And the thing is, I'm not worried if they'll like my baby. What I'm worried about is: is my baby as ready as it can be for the public? I don't want it to just get good reviews, I want it to do what I created it for: help parents teach their children how to create amazing lives, for themselves and for the betterment of our world. Then again, this book was conceived in magical, mystical Maui, so I have great faith it will live up to its promise. For the kiddos (age 11-16) I'm creating a seminar called I Can Do Anything. It will bring the principles of the book alive for them by using language and examples from their world. No translator needed. That's a tall order, but I have a great test market in my own household. Once in a while the planets align, and your passion and your profession are one and the same. This is one of those times. I'm as high as I've been in a long time. Oooh baby.
	1/18/10: A Man for the Times, A Message Worth Remembering Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. endured much during his widely recognized reign as civil rights leader. He was jailed 20 times, stabbed in the chest, his family's house was fire bombed, and there were numerous threats on his life. He spoke for those who had no voice, and because of that, he was alternately idolized and vilified. After his assassination it took more than 15 years of Congressional debate before a national holiday was named in his honor. By the time the national holiday was declared many states had already been celebrating it on their own for years. Today is not just a day off of work, it is a day of remembrance. And while we're remembering, here are a few things that may have been forgotten: Martin Luther King, Jr. graduated high school and entered college at age 15 By age 20 he was an ordained minister By age 26 he had his doctorate In 1964 (at age 35) he became the youngest person ever to win the Nobel Peace Prize He was only the second American to have a national holiday named after him (George Washington was first) When he helped lead the demonstration in Birmingham that led to one of his incarcerations, he did so at the invitation of local civil rights leaders at a time when that city was perhaps the most widely segregated in the U.S., with a record of brutality, unsolved bombings of black homes and churches, and unjust treatment of blacks in the courts. At the time of his arrest both black and white clergy in Birmingham wrote protest letters against the demonstration, and said that Dr. King, being from Atlanta, had no business stirring up trouble in Birmingham. Part of the letter Dr. King wrote in response to his detractors included the now famous phrase, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." It takes courage to speak out against entrenched power; it takes courage to speak out for justice. Especially today, we should all remember to do more of it.
	1/15/10: A New Year, A New Decade, A New Name, A Clean Slate Yesterday I filed the papework to have my name legally changed. No, I'm not becoming Dharma Teacher Brilliant Dharma Grains, the Buddhist translation for my first and last name. And I'm not, as I'd originally thought, taking back my maiden name: Yvonne Meacham. Instead, I'm adopting my middle name as my last name. Why I didn't think of this earlier, I'll never know. But since I made that decision, I've come to learn that at least two other women I know have done the same thing. I've never been fond of my maiden name, and although I liked my former married name, Buchanan, it was never my name. I kept it after my divorce only for the sake of my sons who are now old enough not to care what I call myself, as long as they can still call me Mom. So sometime after my court hearing Feb. 25, I will officially be Yvonne Aileen (yuh-VONN ay-LEEN). Yvonne = "yew" and Aileen = "light." I love both of those meanings. I realized the other day, when I was speaking to a friend, that changing my name has definite advantages. I have a whole new slate on which to write the rest of my life. While Yvonne Buchanan (and even Yvonne Meacham) may have made some mistakes in the past: in business, in relationships, in life, Yvonne Aileen hasn't made any! Yvonne Aileen has never let herself down when it comes to keeping a workout schedule. Yvonne Aileen has never taken a job that was beneath her, hidden aspects of her personality to keep the approval of her mate, starved herself on the Lemonade Diet, or bought an article of clothing she never wore. She has never had a speeding ticket, a parking ticket, or sat through a boring meeting when what she most wanted to do was run straight through the back wall, leaving an opening in the shape of her fleeing body, like they do in cartoons. Yvonne Aileen has never had an angry exchange with her children, or set a goal for herself she didn't meet. Yvonne Aileen has never been so afraid of losing someone she loved that she held her tongue when she should have spoken out. She has never forgotten an appointment, a friend's birthday or the name of anyone she's ever met. In short: Yvonne Aileen rocks! Yes, the other Yvonnes did share in some incredible memories. And the good news is, Yvonne Aileen gets to keep them, too. But starting a New Year and a new decade with a clean slate, with one less name to carry around, with names that I truly love and that have belonged to me since birth, wow. This is a gift I gladly and gratefully give myself.
	1/13/10: Would You Clean Up My Vomit? I've been reading lately. A lot. Part of is research for a project I'm working on, part of it is serendipity. A book leapt off the shelf yesterday when I was at Powell's and landed in my arms. I was there to get two books on publishing and a book by Bruce Lipton called Spontaneous Evolution, all three recommended by my amazing business coach, Kim George. But the book that leapt into my arms was Miracle in Maui. In this book, Paul Pearsall, Ph.D., a clinical and educational psychologist, wrote about his own miraculous healing in a bone marrow transplant ward, a place where death walked the halls like a tireless janitor, and patients endured pain most animals would not have tolerated: marrow removal, treatment and replacement, whole-body radiation, and burning, poisonous chemotherapy. During Dr. Pearsall's nearly two years of treatment, his wife, Celest, stood by him, often sleeping at his bedside. The nurses, the doctors, even one new doctor who had been dubbed "Dr. Death Vader" due to his pessimism, all remarked on the magnetic warmth they could feel, and the glow they could at times actually see between Pearsall and his wife. Their love created an energy that was palpable and visible. One patient in the ward confided to Pearsall that he had had many affairs during his lifetime, all of which were exciting, but he knew that none of his lovers would have stayed with him through his treatment, cleaned up his vomit. I have been lucky to have loved someone that much. And as I begin to re-enter the dating world after a four-year hiatus, I will use this question as a litmus test before I commit to a "relationship." Is he someone I would do that for? Would he do that for me?
	1/7/10: Shift Happens The movement of the earth's tectonic plates has caused the formation and break-up of the earth's continents over time, including occasional formation of a supercontinent that contains most or all of the continents. Then these supercontinents break up again. Why am I telling you all of this? Because this is NOTHING compared to the shifts that have been going on in my life lately. Ever since the beginning of the New Year, major movement has been shaking up my career, my relationships, and my financial and physical wellbeing. Some of these changes have been good, some have been friggin' awesome, and some have been heartbreakingly painful. All of it has been necessary. Shift happens. And when it does, we either embrace it or we curl up into a little ball and cry. I've done a little of both. * Part of this process will even be changing my name (stay tuned for further developments).
	12/31/09: Auld Lang Syne Did you ever wonder what auld lang syne actually meant? "Auld Lang Syne" is the title of a Scottish poem written by Robert Burns in 1788, which later became a folk song. The title means "old long since", which makes no "since" at all, so a better translation might be "days gone by." As we herald in the New Year, we're also saying goodbye to the old one. I say: good riddance! I am a very upbeat person, most people would agree. I've even been called Pollyanna at times. But 2009? It sucked wind. That's Scottish for "sucked wind." Which may explain the bagpipes. So without further haggis, my last Scottish joke of the year: A bagpipe player parked at a busy shopping mall. With some trepidation, he left his bagpipes in plain view in the back seat, locking all four doors, and nervously sprinted through his shopping errands. Twenty minutes later he returned, breathless and sweaty. Sure enough, all his windows had been broken, and four more sets of bagpipes were in his back seat. May the blessed sunlight shine on you like a great peat fire, so that stranger and friend may come and warm himself at it. And may light shine out of the two eyes of you, like a candle set in the window of a house, bidding the wanderer come in out of the storm. And may the blessing of the rain be on you, may it beat upon your Spirit and wash it fair and clean, and leave there a shining pool where the blue of Heaven shines, and sometimes a star. -- Scottish blessing Have a surprising, adventure-driven, white-hot passionate, bagpipe-less (unless, like me, you're into that sort of thing) New Year.

	12/7/09: Aloha I'm in Maui again: second time in a month, this time solo. Traveling alone, without the encumbrances of high-energy children gives me time to ... work. Work? In paradise? Yes, unfortunately, or fortunately. It's a great field test for my eventual move to Maui (one day): can I actually get work done when the sky is blue, the surf frothy and untamed, the palm trees swaying gently, and the breeze tinged with tuberose? Um, yeah, sort of. There have been many warm and wonderful distractions, but I've actually written 17,000 words of a book, sent numerous business emails, and am tackling two articles on assignment today about (get ready for the excitement) the practicality of membership buying clubs. I will probably make enough from those two articles to pay for my grocery bill: $8.09 for a dozen (albeit organic) eggs! I think I need a membership buying club. But the price I will pay for enjoying this time in paradise will not be in the green stuff. It will be in the wrenching emotions of leaving in a few days. Maui is home to me. When I was asked by a surfer recently if I lived here I answered, "Yes, as often as I can." Happy Birthday, Everett (71 years young yesterday)! Aloha, A hui hou.
	10/20/09: Just in Time for Halloween, I Meet a Real Monster I met a monster recently. Under five feet tall, she was a successful businesswoman with simian features and an unfortunate haircut. She shook my world. When you surround yourself with loving, generative people, monsters can get the sneak on you because you forget they're out there. But I learned some valuable lessons: I learned to trust my gut. I learned that I would never trade my beautiful life for any amount of material success. And I learned that all chaos is merely a time of transition to a new and better place. "I was sitting in a sea of pity, not noticing that the winds of heaven were carrying me across the skies." This passage was read to me quite by "accident" in the midst of the chaos, catching me just before I tumbled into the abyss, setting me back on solid ground. When you find yourself facing a monster, be happy that you're not one! And know that life is a beautiful journey, and that sometimes it takes monsters to show us the way.
	8/22/09: Happy Birthday Bro! People say that having children ages you. I disagree. When I see my two sons growing, all I feel is proud of the way they're turning out. Their energy keeps me young. What ages me is seeing my BABY BROTHER turn 40 today! I remember when he arrived at our grandmother's house, fresh from the hospital, all 10 pounds, 13 oz. of him, nothing but golf ball cheeks and poopy diapers, and I thought he was my personal animated doll. I fed him, changed him, held him and dressed him in girly clothes because he couldn't do anything about it. Happy Birthday, Timmy. (I'm one of five people left alive who are still allowed to call him that.) Love, Your Sis Yvonne
	5/7/09: Too Busy to Blog? .... "I've got 20 seconds while my coffee is reheating. Great! I can use that time to go to the bathroom!" This was an actual thought that ran through my head today. I just finished a 42-page Web site (check it out at Access Feng Shui) which included editing and creating close to 80 images. It's the [fill in the blank, I've lost count] th Web site I have created in the last three months. My world is a self-imposed whirwind, and today I learned an important lesson: S - L - O - W D - O - W - N I got this message in a brilliant flash of light as I went through an orange-turning-red signal at NE 39th and Sandy. Yep, my picture, with morning hair, sans make-up, wearing my sweats, and probably mouthing a word I try never to say in front of my children is now being developed by a machine that will bill me $300+ for the privilege. Today I should be editing an e-book manuscript (and I will get to it!!!) or interviewing three family business owners in various U.S. locations for an article that's due in 4 days about the state of the economy. I will get to that too. Or putting together 100 women to become muses on my soon-to-be-launching 800Muses.com Web site. Ahem. For the launch in 3 weeks! I will get to it ... Instead I'm taking three hours out of the whirlwind to attend a Mother's Day luncheon at my son's school. If I had a job where I only worked 8 hours a day, I probably couldn't make it. Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
	4/23/09: Why I Think Twittering is for the Birds I'm Linked In but I don't Twitter. I accidentally joined once and forgot about it, and came back and found out I had about a thousand messages from the same person who probably wonders why I never responded. I joined Facebook, after much prompting from several friends, for exactly 15 minutes before I bailed. Too much sign-my-high-school-year-book type of energy. For business reasons I did join an online networking group for entrepreneurs, but it pales in comparison to my real, live networking group that meets twice a month. We meet in person, where we can look into each other's eyes and laugh out loud, not like this: <LOL>. Social media has become social mania. Everyone's doing it, even Oprah. For me, that may be just enough reason not to do it. Maybe I'm behind the times, maybe I'm ahead of the curve. All I know is that reading and responding and deleting my e-mail takes enough time out of my day without having to do it at a half-dozen sites. I don't want to join an "online community" to talk to my friends. And although I love them, I really don't care what my friends had for breakfast or what sandwich they're dreaming about for lunch. To me, "community" is comprised of the people you see eye-to-eye and talk to voice-to-voice and share an actual sandwich with. Pass the mustard, please.
	4/8/09: Will You Be My Beta Tester? It's not as romantic as a valentine, I know. I just launched my fourth site in less than 4 weeks, and this one is way over my head. I mean, WAYYYY over. I never thought Max, my 10-year-old, would be able to say "I Told You So" this early in life, but he was right: Yu-Gi-Oh! is a complicated, strategic game that's teaching him how to think in 12 dimensions. As someone who has trouble enough with the standard three dimensions, I'd like your help. If you're a Yu-Gi-Oh! buff (and even if you're not) please beta test this newest site: Yu-Gi-Oh MAX! Let me know if I've got any broken links, images that don't load, etc. I'll have Max check it for Yu-Gi-Oh! accuracy. After all, he's the expert. Thanks, Yvonne
	3/19/09: Web Site #3, Autism Answers Now I've just launched the third Web site in three days. This one is a resource site for families whose child has just received an autism diagnosis. Included are books I found helpful, a link to my own family's story about autism, and answers to early questions about diet, supplements, and therapies. The site is designed to answer the questions: what is autism, and what are some autism treatments? and to provide hope where there was none. My personal belief is that autism, the "new breed" of autism that is sweeping our country is nothing more than environmental damage, be it toxins in our environment, poor diet, mercury-containing vaccines, or a combination of these, combined with some sort of genetic predisposition. I'm not alone in believing this, and hopefully some day there will be better, more complete answers. Until then, I'll do my best to answer those questions I can.	Photo from our new site, Autism Answers Now.
	3/18/09: Dino-Mite Happenings I'm becoming an e-publisher! Very exciting. Check out my first joint venture (with my lovely son, Sam), Kids Dig Dinos.com, a dinoaurs for kids site. You'll also find my epublisher site, Knowledge Base Publishing here. So ... what will I publish? Ebooks with informative or entertaining, but certainly niche and evergreen value (topics of interest that will be around for a long time). Any questions, see the Knowledge Base site, or just ask! The future is very very bright with a Christmas ribbon on top!
	3/6/09: 10 Great Things About a Sucky Economy 1. Store clerks are much friendlier, especially those who work on commission 2. Better customer service all around 3. Coupon clipping has become a lot more exciting 4. You don't have to take that stinky job because guess what: no job! 5. More time with the family (see #4 above) 6. Opportunities abound, really! Anytime there's a shakeup, winners rise to the top. Be a winner. 7. Suddenly, EVERYTHING'S ON SALE! 8. The library is warmer because it's more crowded 9. More people are returning bottles 10. We all have time to focus on what really matters. To re-coin a phrase, It's not* the economy, stupid.*
	2/16/09: Presidents and King George Happy President's Day. Recently my eldest son, Max, performed in his fifth grade play, a musical pageant called "Ring Out the Bells of Freedom." Max was fortunate to be given the juicy role of King George III, enabling him to deliver such spicy lines as "Balderdash!" and "Bloody rubbish!" Today being President's Day, and given the recent historic election of our nation's president, it may be prudent to look at how history treated King George III. Wikipedia reports that historical analysis of the King's life has gone through a "kaleidoscope of changing views depending heavily on the prejudices of his biographers and the sources available to them." In my son's pageant, King George was depicted as a tyrant who was uncooperative with the colonists. In other historical references, he is looked on as very cooperative with the colonists, albeit for his own power-enhancing reasons. The writers of our history have a responsibility to get it right, and if they present something with bias, to disclose it within the same document. Long after the man (or woman) is gone, the written word lives on. May the biographers of President Obama's tenure be fair, accurate and prejudice-free. And may our country continue to Ring Out the Bells of Freedom for our children, our children's children, and for all the generations to come.
	2/10/09: Whales, Rays and Other Sea Creatures I'm in Maui, thoroughly enjoying my second trip here in three months, feeling very lucky and spoiled. This time around is whale season, and we can see them spouting and breaching in the distance, even from the grounds of our condo. Yesterday we snorkeled, and in addition to a nice variety of fish, we saw a manta ray, perhaps 5 feet wide and 9 feet long. It was just laying there beneath us, on the sandy ocean floor. We hovered at a safe distance, then as we began to move away, the ray lifted off the bottom and, with a few graceful sweeps of its body, swam away. Today I go on an eco whale watching tour, hoping to see up close what we've been seeing from the beach for the past several days.There's something about the beauty and majesty of large sea creatures like the ray and the whale that makes me wonder which is the more intelligent creature: the one who tries to master and tame its environment, or the one that moves through it with dignity, accepting what is. In my next life I'll be a crew member on the Calypso. For now I've joined the Pacific Whale Foundation. It's the least I can do for Ray and Friends.
	1/29/09: Writing for Human Beings I was reading through a user manual recently and found myself reading the same paragraph 147 times. What is it about some tech writers that makes them think they have to write for computers rather than people? A good writer, techie or otherwise, doesn't try to use all their vocabulary in one sentence. Babe, save that for the college term papers. Good writers use words that don't require the reader to break out their secret decoder ring. In graduate school we studied the Plain English Movement. The Movement was an attempt by the government a couple of decades ago to clear away the high-fog factor in governmental and legal documents. It failed miserably. Apparently, some government workers and lawyers like it foggy. Fog provides job security because: (1) they've got the decoder rings, and (2) they can alter the interpretation depending on weather, mood, or how much they stand to gain from a particular interpretation. A good writer, and especially a technical one, conveys information, something that only happens when the audience can understand what's being read. No decoder ring required.
	1/10/09: Shaping Up after 40 I'm on a major shape-up bent lately, and I'm loving it! I guess you could call it a New Year's resolution but I started 12/30. (I'm early for everything, so no surprise there.) Like everyone else on the planet, I have tried just about every diet out there to lose that last 10 (and later, 20 pounds): Jenny Craig, Slim Fast, Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, LA Weight Loss, Isagenix, and all the fad diets: the 9-day diet, the cabbage soup diet, the banana and hamburger diet, cleanses, fasts. I've hired personal trainers, joined a gym, bought the equipment, bought the clothes. If I had all the money I've spent on quick fixes and accessories I could afford major body surgery. There's a quick fix. But this time is different. There's a lot to be said for reaching 40-something beyond the slower metabolism. You get a little wiser. By then you've learned how to create a plan and stick to it. And you've learned that, outside of the operating room, there's no such thing as a quick fix that's also lasting. So I'm doing it right. I'm working with my metabolism instead of against it, eating right, drinking 8 glasses of water a day (it's really easy once you're in the habit), exercising 6 days a week, incorporating strength training, educating myself on the subject, and not expecting overnight results. I don't weigh myself daily or even weekly. Every 4 weeks is my plan. This way I won't be discouraged by temporary fluctuations. The number on the scale means very little anyway. It's about how you feel and look. I intend to arrive at my new body by my birthday, June 1. With five months to work it, I think my plan has a serious chance for success. It helps to have little goals to work for along the way, and little rewards too. So I'm going to Maui again in February. That's something Jenny Craig never did for me.
	12/14/08: Silver Bells and Christmas Pageants One of my sons attends a private school in Lake Oswego. We live in Northeast Portland, so the location isn't exactly convenient. Once in a while I wonder if I should put him in a school closer to home. But he's thriving. This weekend I saw another example of this. Every year the school puts on a Christmas pageant. It's months in the making, and for the week leading up to it, there's no academic homework so the kids can work at home rehearsing their lines for their part of Mary, Joseph, angel, etc. In Sam's first two years at Childrens Hour Academy, he was in the choir, no speaking parts, so we rehearsed the songs he needed to memorize. He was terrified. At the events themselves he cried and trembled for the duration. I had to stand with him to keep him from fleeing. The following two years Sam held his own, and I watched from the audience, incredulous and proud. This year Sam, in third grade, was one of 8 Wisemen. He stood in front of the mike, drew it closer to him when it was time to speak (much to the audience's delight), enunciated clearly and with appropriate emphasis, and angled it toward the next speaker when it was their turn. He showed amazing stage presence. When it was time to disassemble, he gave me the obligatory hug and went off to find his best friend. I've become superfluous, and for that I am truly grateful.
	12/12/08: Finding the Silver Lining [Part 1 of 2] My car was vandalized. Twice in one week. At night, under a working security light, while I and my two angels were sleeping, a vandal walked 8 feet up my driveway and punctured the sidewall of my right front tire. The next day I took it to Les Schwab and bought a new tire: $140. Four nights later the vandal did the same thing to my right rear tire. Another $140, but even worse, I now realized it was something that could (and probably would) happen again and again, and there was nothing I could do about it. I reported it to the police, and learned there's nothing THEY can do about it either. They didn't want my punctured tires as evidence. They didn't want to send an officer to take my sworn statement. They took my story over the phone, and that and my $280 bought me a lovely little case number and a vague assurance that the officer taking my information would TRY to contact the officer who patrols my area and let him/her know what happened. I was angry. I was frustrated. I wanted to inflict violence. I drove in rush hour across town to a car alarm shop called "Stop-the-Criminals-and-Blow-Their-Eardrums-Out 'R Us" (or something close to that) and found out that the only alarm sensitive enough to detect a tire slashing would also be set off by mosquito landings. I didn't ask around, but I'm pretty sure my neighbors would rather I keep buying tires. I began to fantasize about sleeping, propped up on my porch holding a shotgun. I seriously considered renting a Rottweiler. I thought about moving. In a weak moment I thought about putting something sharp in my driveway that the vandal might step on. "Booby traps are illegal," my boyfriend, Dean, informed me. Dang. [Part 2]
	12/11/08: The Unbearable Lightness of Being ... Free I recently took a job that had great promise initially but turned out to be an oppressive, humiliating, dark experience. At the brink of losing myself completely to the dark side, I jumped free. Back in the sunshine, I now see with new eyes. Feng shui practitioners will tell you to “clear your space” because you can’t bring new things into your life until you make room for them. I finally see the absolute beauty and truth in this. While driving to meet a friend for breakfast this morning [quick aside: you MUST do abelskivers at HASH in Sellwood at least ONCE in your lifetime!!!], a 20-minute drive, I got so many ideas for the future I can’t possibly act on them all. Everywhere I look is opportunity and abundance. I had seen in the job possibility: security, challenge, reward. When it turned out to be none of these I felt like I’d just wasted three months of my life (except for the many wonderful human connections that will stay with me always). I thought, “What was THAT all about? What lesson am I supposed to take away from that?!” Now I see there were many lessons. They keep revealing themselves to me one after the other. One was: never take a job beneath your capabilities. Another: I have great survival instincts. And: We sometimes have to go into the dark to truly see the light. Free at last. Free at last. Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!
	8/30/08: Got Links? It always surprises me when one of my savvier communications friends hasn’t heard about linkedin. It’s a site where professionals can reconnect and make new connections. You create a profile, search for folks you know, and ask to be linked. When you’re linked to them, you’re also linked to their network and their network’s network and ... like that old shampoo commercial: “She tells two friends, and she tells two friends ...” Viral marketing at its finest. Facebook for the post-acne years. Enough analogy, just go get linked. And don’t worry: no spam has ever come to my e-mail box through linkedin. Just some wonderful blasts from the past and some cool new connections. You’re welcome.
	8/22/08: He’ll Always Be Timmy To Me (Happy B’Day, Bro!) One afternoon my sister Kathy and I were playing with our favorite Christmas gift: a mint green Easy Bake Oven. It was a miraculous thing, that oven. In addition to being an actual appliance with hot surfaces that we could use unsupervised, it also popped out chocolate cake in record time. We were just getting ready to start a new batch when our mom dropped Timmy, the baby, into my lap. “Keep an eye on your brother while I get dinner started.” We looked after her departing figure and began plotting. Timmy had just started crawling, so we had to be able to contain him and yet still have our hands free for baking. Finally we hatched an idea: we pulled a chair in from the dining room and put our brother, in a cardboard box, on it. At some point Timmy must have become curious about what we were up to. He leaned forward and for one magnificent moment turned into Flying Box Baby. Box Baby landed with a thud, and on the way down caught his temple on the corner of the Easy Bake Oven. The screaming was loud, the gash was deep, and the blood was plentiful. And the cake still had 10 minutes to go.
	8/20/08: Waging War Against Spam Once in a while you come across a FREE resource that’s so good you want to tell everyone. Thanks to PDX Synergy’s* newest member, Julia Stoops, Web Designer for Blue Mouse Monkey Designs, I now have something too good not to share. You know how every time your e-mail address gets posted on a Web site you get tons of spam? There’s a great FREE encryption program you can add to your sites that will prevent spam bots from finding it. You just put in the link text, the e-mail address, hit a button, and you get a paragraph of code you paste into your html page exactly where the e-mail address would normally go. Julia says, “I have been using this service for years and it’s very reliable.” Julia, where have you been all my life? Here it is again in case you missed it the first time: Great FREE encryption program to prevent spam Um, and like I said, it’s FREE. Can’t beat that. Thanks, Julia! *(Synergy is my baby, my love, my networking group)
	8/13/08: The State of Being Fat We Americans are eating ourselves to death. Sedentary lifestyles, stress eating, an abundance of fast food, foodie ad bombardment, non-food foods our bodies can’t process, these are some of the reasons. But there may be another factor. States with the highest poverty levels also have the highest levels of obesity. Take a look at some of the fattest states in the U.S. Mississippi and Alabama rank high; Colorado and Hawaii rank low, corresponding to their poverty levels. Why would poverty and obesity be linked? One reason proposed is that unhealthy food is cheap. But so are snap peas and broccoli. Maybe the problem is a lack of education, say some government officials. South Los Angeles, which has a higher poverty level and a higher obesity level than other areas of L.A., has put a moratorium on new fast food restaurants. The government is trying to save us from ourselves. Many people think there should be more government restrictions. Here’s what one blog entry on the subject states: “Losing weight is simply eating less and moving more. It’s not the government’s fault if you can’t manage those two simple things.” Pardon me while I go for a jog.
	8/10/08: Incandescent Fluorescent Obsolescence Lighting companies aren’t making fixtures for incandescent lights anymore. Why? The familiar lightbulb is making way for the newer more energy efficient compact fluorescent lights (CFLs). But at what cost to our environment? CFLs contain mercury, sure in trace amounts, but how much additional mercury do we WANT in our atmosphere? Proponents of CFLs say that it takes mercury to run the power plants to produce the incandescents, and that CFLs contain relatively little mercury. But take a look at the instructions for what happens when you break one: Leave the room for 15 minutes. Use a wet rag to wipe up all pieces and liquid. Wrap in plastic, then wrap again. Dispose as hazardous waste. Hmm. What happens when you break an incandescent? Toss it in the garbage. I’m all for saving energy. But we already have too much mercury in the environment. Why are we manufacturing anything with more mercury? Not to mention the aesthetic issue. Fluorescent bulbs, and the bug-zapper glow they emit, are just plain ugly. A ray of hope is on the horizon: light-emitting diodes (LEDs). The technology is new and expensive, but it will get better and less expensive. LEDs are highly energy efficient and contain no mercury. I say CFLs are obsolete already. Let’s wait for LEDs to get it right, use the incandescents until they do, and hold the mercury, please.
	8/4/08: If It Was Easy Anyone Could Do It I’m painting my house. It’s two stories with a steeply pitched roof and cedar shake siding. The previous owner thought a good look for the house would be clown-makeup blue, along with several other colors on the eaves, gutters and trim, and had it painted just before she put it on the market. I had sold my previous house in 45 minutes and was desperate to find a place to land, but even though the house was for sale in my neighborhood of choice, I drove past it many times before going in because I couldn’t imagine living in a clown’s house. Now, eight months later, it’s becoming a sensible tan. Most people don’t paint their own houses, I know. They hire professionals. But I wanted to save a few grand and was looking for a summer project. Full of optimism when the project began, I thought I could knock it out in a weekend. Several weekends later I have become Elden, the ubiquitous house painter from “Murphy Brown” who never quite finished painting Murphy’s house. So far I have refused to let anyone else pick up a paint brush. I want the feeling of accomplishment that comes from knowing I did it myself. Juggling a paint brush and paint can while standing on an aluminum ladder 20 feet above terra firma, I’ve had moments when I doubted my sanity. But then I remember something my dad used to say: “If it was easy, anyone could do it.” The implication was that what made it hard was exactly what made it worth doing. I’m almost done now, should be by next weekend, and I am keeping the brushes to myself. I want my boys to remember the summer their mom painted the house. Because she could. Because it was hard. Updated 8/12: I finished! I finished! see more blog (blog index)

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